It’s been two weeks and five days since I stepped foot into the U.S and I can’t seem to go past the word ‘fuck’. I hear it on almost every street and corner I find myself; during phone conversations, in both the bus and the train stations, it is just all over the place, drumming into my ears like sweet rhythmic symphony of peoples excitement and frustration.
For someone coming from a profession where the Broadcasting Corporation sanctions radio stations for playing songs with the ‘F’ word and a country that completely abhors the word, it has really been awkward hearing it all over the place. And who would have thought that in no time I would also be using this same word?
The first time the word ‘fuck’ came out of my mouth in the U.S was on a cold night on my way back from where I was serving at a youth-focused organization in Boston. At the Dudley bus station, the temperature that night was literally driving me insane. As is with the typical unreliable nature of the bus system in Boston, the 66 bus took forever to arrive. While standing there fully kitted for what winter looks like, in my gloves, boots and winter jacket, my bones were giving way to the flagrant remains of sanity. I was shaking as one having an uncontrollable panic attack, I had no better way of expressing what my body was feeling so boom! ‘FUCK.’
Weirdly, it felt like the most appropriate thing to say as I struggled to tame my wobbling body. But this wasn’t the end of it, it was only the beginning of a more surprising yet fascinating experience of using this 'taboo' of a word.
The other day, we were at a group gathering of mostly urban teens and young adults in Boston. A young man spoke up when asked if he had anything to say about communication between youths and staff of the youth-led organization where I serve as a fellow. He started by saying ‘‘fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck’’ and went on to say he felt the limitations on the usage of curse words in our workspace were limiting his self-expression and putting a censorship on his creativity as an artist and he wasn’t comfortable with it.
This was more than fascinating for me as a Nigerian because this is a big taboo even in creative spaces in my country and what is more, you get fined for playing a song with curse words. I couldn’t help but wonder why this was an issue for this young man because back at home, man, we have more serious problems than advocating for the usage of curse words. However, since I have learned to experience people rather than just try to understand them, I knew exactly where he was coming from and how words sometimes seem inadequate to express the depth of what one felt. Honestly, words are limiting to a soul seeking expression in a world of complexities.
I was also at a poetry slam recently where I was lured into judging and the poets were so good that for once I felt they were too good for just a local lounge as the one we were in. However, their poems weren’t void of too many 'fucks' that at a time I was lost between deciphering the meaning of their poems as a judge and also trying to understand the metaphors behind those fucks, shits, ass, bitch and such other curse words.
These experiences got me curious so, I got into some research. According to a study by San Diego State University psychologist Jean M. Twenge, it was discovered that curse words are “part of a larger cultural trend toward individualism and free expression...” an individualistic culture I already find quite disturbing after decades of communal living in Africa.
My curiosity further ensnared me into more interactions with other African Americans and I discovered that curse words have become a cultural trend, something almost impossible within the social construct of a complex society still trying to understand their identity in the face of racism, colorism, gentrification, and violence.
According to Jean M. Twenge ‘‘as American culture values individual self-expression more and more, the taboo factor of particular words seems to be diminishing,’’ and you might as well just say fuck when next you feel excited, angry or confused, after all, words are inadequate to a soul seeking expression.
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